I am the Syrophoenician Woman

“Have mercy on me, LORD,
Son of David, I have been cruelly oppressed, afflicted long,
and have tried everything I know to be free.”

 But He did not answer me a word.
“Did He hear me?” I wondered
“Does He care?”
“Will He deliver me after all these years?”

Then those closest to Him, annoyed by my desperation,
implored Him to shun me—casting me off again.

But for this I stand grateful;
for it was this, this very injustice
that spurred Him to speak.

Him speaking, ignited my faith;
for it showed me His heart.
He is for me.
He cannot, He will not, be silent in the face of injustice.

He answered.

The words He spoke seemed like a wall,
but through His eyes I saw a door.

He was inciting me, beckoning me.

I went back to the only place I knew:

He will not tolerate injustice.

He had to know that my delayed healing, and unfulfilled dreams,
have thwarted a freedom and abundance in my life.

Chronic pain is a cruel injustice.

So, with locking eyes, I pleaded boldly,
“LORD, help me!”

Again I saw this paradox.

His words said, “No. It’s not time.”
“No?  It’s not time?”

I could have gotten angry.
I could have been insulted, offended even.

But in His eyes there was no offense . . .

As He spoke the “no,” I saw an invitation in His gaze.

Would I pull on His goodness, His justice and mercy that abound outside of time?

Or would I let my painful history and experience dictate my response?

As His words hung in the air, He leaned in.

Ever so slightly, but I saw it.

There was something more. . .
like He was expecting—hoping for—a response.

I felt like I had nothing.

How does one respond when the Deliverer says, “No. It’s not time”?

But then, I stepped in;
I stepped into the door of His eyes.

Somehow just looking at Him filled me with
strength and hope, and brought a clarity that I’d never known. 

Secrets are revealed in this secret place I found...

 Giving me the courage to respond,

“Ahh, but Your eternal mercy is so great and Your goodness so abundant
that it spills over into time.

As I live in You—Your being—Your justice and Your fullness
make this, by default, my time.

In You, it is my time to receive what You came to give.”

He smiled and said to me,

“Yes it is, and that is the key.
I, and all My glory, will forever exist outside of time,
but as you live in Me, in time,
you have access to it all.

Your faith is great, and it shall be done for you as you wish.”

And I was healed, delivered, set free, and fulfilled at once.

(Matthew 15:21-28)