Real Protection

Sexual purity provides a powerful protection from unhealthy, damaging, and abusive dating relationships. However, as fantastic a safeguard purity is for protecting our hearts and bodies from the effects of unhealthy romance, every relationship we have, other than marital, is designed to be non-sexual. So what value does purity hold in our acquaintances, friendships, work relationships, etc.?

It is stunning to stop and consider how sexualized our culture has become. There is a sexual undertone to nearly all commercials, print advertisements, and the story lines of movies. The climate of television has become one of frequent flippant and degrading sexual humor and crude images, which are often the central theme of sitcoms. This, combined with the widespread distortion/confusion about gender roles and sexuality, creates dishonorable and confusing ideas of about relating—with everyone.

Society in general has become desensitized by the base nature commonly portrayed by the media. The pervasive sexualization of the culture has hindered many from being able to enjoy the natural simplicity and security of purity—that is supposed to be the foundation of casual, work, family, and peer friendships. Purity can prevent so much pain.

Applying the disciplines of sexual purity to all of our interactions removes this sexualized toxin and frees not only us, but also everyone we interact with. Freedom from the sexuality assumed in all male/female relationships today seems to be why heterosexual women typically have such great friendships with gay men.[1] The men simply aren’t attracted to them, and the women know it. Both are freed to share and trust deeply without fear of these being misinterpreted as sexual or romantic interest. When both a (heterosexual) man and woman embrace a commitment to purity they can enjoy this same freedom in a relationship.

A foundational commitment to sexual purity will fortify our lives, helping us avoid all the subtle and awkward cues that communicate even subliminally: “I’m available—are you?” Removing the sexual element goes a long way toward clearing the air of self-consciousness, competition, and second-guessing. When purity is proven genuine over time, trust forms, and trust is what all strong relationships are built on.  

(taken from ch. 7 in Purity by Design)



[1] Many people defend those who are homosexuals because they are “born that way” and they cannot help but be homosexual. I do not argue this: however just because someone is born with a trait or tendency does not mean this is God’s plan. God has provided freedom and deliverance to every area of our lives that are contrary to His Word. Just like with anything else, we ask for help, follow Him, and receive/pursue His healing.