How do love and sexual purity connect? God’s love, true love—described in 1 Corinthians 13—is really the only thing that will override a person’s desire to have sex.[1] It is vital to understand that it is only through God’s powerful love that it is possible to successfully commit to purity. Roger explains this brilliantly in our book as he gives very practical examples about how he moved from sexual bondage to a lifestyle of purity. And, purity, as we will see, teaches us how to love.

Purity teaches us how to love God. Every time we deny gratifying our own sexual desires (outside of marriage), we build depth and grow in our love with God. We pull on His strength and fullness to maintain our purity. Our desire is supposed to bring us to Him—who is our fulfillment.

Purity also teaches us how to love others—instead of seeking our own satisfaction in a selfish way. When we refrain from being sexual until we are married, we develop patience, and preference for others. Love is always about what is best for other people’s well-being. When you engage in sex outside of marriage you choose to surrender your purity as well as participating in another person losing theirs. This simply is not love. Love protects. Love honors. Love waits. Love gives—and it never partakes at another's expense. Loving like this before you marry is the thing that prepares you to be a good spouse in the future.

Purity teaches us how to love ourselves. It is the one area we all have in common that God sets a boundary around. Honoring this standard builds character, a sense of value, and self-respect in us.

No matter where you’ve come from there is overwhelming grace to both stay pure, and become pure if you are struggling. We bless your journey!

[1] Please go back and read God’s definition of love; 1 Corinthians 4-13.