The irony is that most of humanity has bought into the lie that if you’re not having sex you’re missing out, but there is no logical or objective basis for believing this. Why don’t we make decisions about sexuality the same way we make most of our other decisions—based on how it effects our life?
If we were considering any other thing that produced the kind of conflict, pain, and emptiness that sex outside of a loving marriage creates, we would clearly agree that it would be a poor choice. In this sense, promiscuity is result of being unaware. We have been deceived.
Over and over, the long-term result of my short-term sexual relationships was negative. Why did I continue thinking that sex would make me happy, fulfill me, and give me value? After going through this cycle a few times, with a few different women, what kept me from seeing the truth of this downhill spiral? Why did I keep buying into the lie that there was something that I was missing if I was not having sex?
At that time in my life, I did not access the power I could have had in a personal relationship with God. After I initially lost my purity through the childhood abuse, I felt disconnected and began getting my thoughts from the wrong source. I listened to the enemy and accepted the world’s standard of “normal.” I got my cues from what I heard from others, from media and music. I did not know that my internal thoughts and images were powerful tools that could create health and life, or destruction and despair. I did not know that whatever I “fed” my body it would crave all the more, and I would be reinforcing either a healthy, or unhealthy (addictive), body chemistry.
Because of my buried issues, I followed what I saw in the world and, trying to numb my own pain, I slipped into a destructive lifestyle of drinking, drugs, and casual sexual relationships. Until we get to know God personally, we will not have the vision or motivation to follow His heart for purity; nor will we have the ability to fully prosper. During the time in my life that I was making poor relational choices, I did not have this obedient love relationship with God. I was not internally empowered to make wise life choices. The rules I learned at church were simply rules. Rules alone did not sustain my ability to follow Him.
Through my journey of walking out of the enemy’s camp into life and health, I have learned several vital keys that keep me centered on my path of wholeness and purity. One key truth is that God created us to be fulfilled by Him. The human heart will never be satisfied until it is full. If we do not allow God to fill us with His love and acceptance, we will find something else—anything else—with which to fill our hearts.
"For this reason also, since the day we heard of it, we have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding so that you may walk in a manner worthy of the LORD to pelease Him in all respects bearing fruti in every good work and increasing in theknowldge of God..."
Colossians 1:9-10