My Longing

There’s more… there has to be.

 

I’ve committed to follow the LORD. He is my hope. He is my portion. He is everything, and yet… my heart longs for things not yet realized.

How can this be?

 

I seem to get tripped up by certain thoughts—thoughts that remind me of what I do not have. These longings have been my desire for so long, they began to define me. They became my reference point; my focus.

 

This is where things got off track without me even realizing it. This is where I developed unhealthy thought patterns. Over the years, my hopes and dreams cut grooves into my heart and mind. Then, anytime I’d see or hear something that reminded me of my unfulfilled dream, I would fall into that squelching rut.

 

The more I focused on my heart’s desires, the more consumed I became, and the deeper the pit was that I found myself lodged in.

 

So now I see. Now what? How do I get out of this self-focused rut?

 

What does the One “who is my everything” say? How can this ditch within me get filled in so that I no longer trip on what I long for?

 

Perhaps I must change what I long for.

·      How do I practically keep Him before me?

·      How do I experience Him as my hope, and my fullness of joy?

·      How do I guard my mind, and catch my wandering thoughts before they once again forge unhealthy inroads within me?

 

I must live in Him. I must think how He thinks. I must see life from His perspective.

I must want Him more than I want the things that I think will fulfill my heart.

 

·      If I live seated with Him in heavenly places, will I not surely be fulfilled?

·      If I embrace the One who is, will I not have access to all that He has?

·      If I lay down my life to seek His face and His Kingdom, first, will not all these things be added unto me?

 

So come, King of glory.

As I repent and draw near to You, renew my mind.

Fill me with Your presence.

Transform me to Your image so that I am satisfied by nothing but You.

And, let Your goodness and mercy follow me all the days of my life

that I may dwell with You, in Your house forever and ever.